Speak Now
by MissWitchx
Summary: Collection of one-shots based on the songs of Taylor Swift's album Speak Now :: 1. NM/LM : 2. HG/DM : 3. HP/GW : 4. BF/OC - Caught in a moment of deja-vu at Christmas, Benjy is forced to face his past and he tries to make amends with the girl he loves.
1. Story of Us

**A/N: **I own nothing.

* * *

**1\. Story of Us: Narcissa/Lucius**

* * *

_Miscommunications lead to fall-out._

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

* * *

Narcissa felt tears begin to sting her eyes as she uncovered another of Lucius' possessions whilst sorting through piles of junk in the Manor attic; who knew a mere silver locket could have such an effect on her?

Going against her better judgement, she prized the locket open with trembling fingers, and let out a brief wail of despair as her eyes fell on the moving pictures within. On the left-hand side was an image of the day she and Lucius wed back in 1974; they had not long graduated from Hogwarts so were barely twenty years old. They were both laughing and dancing together, and, despite their youth, looked much healthier.

Narcissa noted her fuller face and Lucius' handsome features; there was a twinkle in his silver eyes captured in the photograph that Narcissa had not seen since. The Lucius in the locket was barely recognisable as the haggard, thin and almost broken shell of a man she had seen him as a week ago when he was given his sentence to Azkaban and promptly taken away by the Aurors.

Then again, those were simpler times, much simpler. Voldemort was at the height of power, Lucius supported him and Narcissa in turn, supported her husband. They were both responsible for their own safety and had only themselves and each other to worry about.

That was before Draco came along.

The witch continued to shed silent tears as she turned attention to the other photograph in the locket. It was taken on the 5th June 1980 – the day Draco was born, and in hindsight, the day the cracks began to show in her relationship with Lucius.

Narcissa had been a natural mother, and had found it easy to adjust to putting the safety of her son before anyone else's, including her own. Lucius, whilst caring for and loving Draco a great deal, found it difficult right off the bat establishing an emotional bond with his son. Even in the photograph, he was not holding or even looking at the newborn baby in Narcissa's arms.

However, she had to concede that this wasn't entirely her husband's fault: Voldemort was still powerful and dangerous and Lucius had to continue supporting him. For if he didn't, he would have been killed and Draco would have had to grow up without a father. Narcissa had to put her son's safety and wellbeing first, so she made no objections to this. She feared for Draco's safety though, so she decided to support Lucius from a further distance.

She couldn't remember being more thankful than she did the day Voldemort was destroyed, or thought to be at least. She could finally relax and continue to raise Draco with no imposing threat or danger, and along with Lucius, they could finally be a proper family unit.

This had turned out to be nothing but wishful thinking though.

Draco was close to eighteen months old when the First Wizarding War was over, and Lucius hadn't had much time to spend at home with them. But Draco's age meant that by the time he returned, it was much harder to try and bond with Draco, for the infant didn't recognise him as his father. After a while, it seemed that Lucius just stopped trying.

Narcissa had had countless arguments with him on this matter, but eventually gave up too as her message showed no signs of sinking in.

Her biggest regret was not trying harder for Draco's sake, because eventually her husband's lack of emotional connection with Draco lead him to almost force the poor boy into his footsteps by becoming a Death Eater. Draco viewed his father as the disciplinarian of the family whilst he saw her as a shoulder to cry on, as any teenager should think of their mother.

To this day, it broke Narcissa's heart that he didn't have two parents to lean on during his sixth year at Hogwarts, and she didn't think she could ever forgive Lucius for doing nothing in attempt to persuade Voldemort to select another child for the task of killing Dumbledore. Ultimately, this was what she hated Harry Potter for the most; his parents had faced death to protect him.

As that year wore on, she distanced herself from her husband, and by September 1997, they were hardly speaking to one another. The only thing she could be glad about was that Draco came back home to the Manor, and she could look after him the best that she could.

Narcissa truly loathed Voldemort as the final battle had begun; he had sent Draco along with hundreds of other Death Eaters to fight, and against his former peers and Professors no less, and she, Bellatrix and Lucius were told to remain behind with a few others.

The single, most agonising moment of her life was when she asked Harry Potter if her son was still alive. It seemed like the longest few seconds ever, for they were drawn out painfully slowly as her mind began thinking the worst. That moment continued to haunt her nightmares even though her son was very much alive and well. Each night, Narcissa was taken back to that terrible moment, and with it, she re-lived the unbearable terror she felt.

This had been the final straw in her eyes; as far as she was concerned her marriage was over. Her life with Lucius Malfoy had taken a dark turn; she could not forgive the man for putting their only child in so much danger. She had been willing to die for Draco when she lied to Voldemort, but the simple fact was that Lucius wasn't prepared to pay the same price.

So here she was, packing everything up in preparation to move out of the Manor, and in turn, preparing to leave the memories behind. This was the last chapter of her story with Lucius Malfoy.

* * *

**A/N: **Hope you all liked, if you could drop me a review on your way out that'd be awesome :)


	2. Speak Now

**A/N: **I own nothing.

* * *

**2\. Speak Now: Hermione/Draco**

* * *

_I, am not the kind of girl, _

_who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion._

* * *

Hermione paced back and forth, absent-mindedly holding her stomach. She glanced at the clock: it was 6:15. She had to make a decision, and fast.

Her heart was pounding so hard, Hermione thought she was going to faint. She needed to talk to somebody, anybody, about what she should do, but she couldn't tell anyone, least of all Harry and Ron. It sounded mad even in _her_ head, so there was no way her friends would understand: _Hey, I need some advice. I'm pregnant with a soon-to-be-married man's baby. Do you think I should tell him? Oh did I forget to mention, that man is Draco Malfoy?!_

She felt like crying; if she didn't act before the wedding that would be it, and she would have to raise the baby alone. She didn't have a problem with this but despite everything, she wanted Draco to be a part of its life. Hermione decided that she would never forgive herself if she didn't take the chance; he at least needed to know.

She apparated directly to Draco's bedroom in the Manor; she guessed that is where he would be getting ready and she didn't want to be seen by anyone else. He turned in her direction, wearing light grey dress robes with a look of surprise on his handsome features. Hermione cursed herself for feeling so scared: if anything she should be angry at him for failing to tell her sooner about his arranged marriage to Astoria.

"Hermione what are you doing here?" Draco said, perhaps too harshly. He didn't mean the words to come out like that but he was just so taken aback at her presence.

Having taken his tone the wrong way, Hermione suddenly burst into tears. She looked into his eyes, trying to speak but she could form no words. She was too afraid of his reaction, and she was becoming more panicked by every second that ticked on.

Draco looked at her. He saw worry in her eyes. He saw that she was trying to talk to him. Why wouldn't she speak? What was so urgent that she decided to turn up on his wedding day? He suddenly registered Hermione's body language. Her right hand was clenched into a fist and was resting on her abdomen. That was when it clicked: she was pregnant, with his baby.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading! Reviews loved!


	3. Never Grow Up

**A/N: **This is my favourite so far in this collection. Hope you enjoy! I own nothing

* * *

**3\. Never Grow Up: Harry/Ginny**

* * *

_To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret_

_I'd give all I have, honey_

_If you could stay like that._

_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_

_Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little._

* * *

Harry looked down at the small baby in his arms when he felt a tiny hand wrap around his index finger. It was a sensation he had felt before when he held baby Fred for the first time, but this was like a whole new experience. It made Harry feel more elated and proud than he had ever felt before, and the tiny bundle was the cause of that. It was so strange that the baby in his arms didn't need to anything for Harry to love it instantly and with more love than he had ever felt for anything or anyone. The baby had done nothing except breathe and just…exist.

But that was enough, because the baby was Harry's son.

Harry didn't even realise he was crying until he felt Ginny's hand rest on his knee. He raked his gaze from his little boy's face and into Ginny's. Part of Harry felt like this was all a dream, and this moment didn't really exist. He felt strange, like this was never supposed to happen to him.

He had a wife and a child now, a family. A real family. That was something Harry never thought he would live long enough to have. When he first started dating Ginny he always simultaneously fantasised about and dreaded this day; for fear of his happiness being ripped away from him no sooner than he got it. That's how his life had been during his time at Hogwarts, and so, he always lived in fear of this moment.

But the mere existence of this baby symbolised a million things; the most important of which being that Harry wouldn't have to live in fear of losing anyone anymore, and the heart-wrenching guilt of allowing people to die for him. He symbolised that good, and most importantly love, triumphed over evil. He symbolised friendship and loyalty was more powerful than any amount of power or magical ability.

Harry thought about his parents, and was suddenly humbled by a fresh wave of comprehension, understanding and sorrow. Up until this point, he had never really appreciated how they could have loved him, as a one year-old baby, enough to willingly face death with no hesitation. After being told the story countless times as a child, he only ever accepted it for what it was. Now he understood. His son was barely ten minutes old and yet Harry wanted to protect him and love him with every fibre of his being. It was so simple now. Harry would most certainly die for this little boy at the expense of his own life, no questions asked.

Fresh tears of gratitude for his parents fell from his eyes, and he kissed the sleeping baby's cheek. The tiny face was so innocent and peaceful, and Harry felt happily envious that he could be so carefree. He had no knowledge of evil or darkness, and Harry would give anything for it to stay that way. He didn't want his son to face some of the terrors he had done, and wanted to be there to shield him from any hurt or pain he may face.

But he would grow, and it was inevitable that the little boy wouldn't have an entirely peaceful life. But Harry could only feel thankful that the world was now a much happier place since the fall of Voldemort. It wasn't a perfect world by a long chalk but it was more pleasant than it was during Harry's early years and that was good enough.

"Hey Gin?" Harry sniffed back his tears.

"Yeah?" His wife smiled and Harry's heart swelled. Words just weren't enough to even begin to explain how grateful he was to this woman. She had given him everything he could have ever dreamed of, and even more than he thought he deserved.

"Would you mind terribly if I named him?"

Ginny laughed. She was also crying, "Merlin Harry, you're like the saviour of the Wizarding World. It's the least I can do to let you name him. I mean, without you this little man wouldn't even exist."

Harry carefully leant over to kiss his wife, trying to silently channel the immense gratitude he felt.

"But you know, I get to name the next one," Ginny grinned and Harry beamed. There'd be a next one? Merlin he bloody well hoped this wasn't all a dream.

"I love you," he said.

"I should think so, I just pushed an eight pound baby through my-"

"Okay, okay." Harry said, not really wanting to relive the graphic details, "I thought we could name him James, after my Dad. I was just thinking about, you know, and"

"Harry you don't have to explain yourself," Ginny said softly, "I love it. Honestly I was thinking the same thing."

James squirmed in Harry's arms, and he and Ginny both laughed. Harry handed him over to her and kissed his wife again.

In that moment he was confident that baby James would have a happy life. No matter how cruel the world turned in the next few years, James would grow up in an environment where he didn't have to worry about the evil that still lurked out there. Because he had a family who loved him, and it was proven that that was enough to conquer the darkest of forces.

Love, always love.

* * *

**A/N: **Please drop me a review on your way out :)


	4. Back to December

**A/N: **Harry Potter belongs to JKR.

Page breaks will be used to separate the present day from a memory, and XXX will separate two sections in the same timeline.

Thank you so much to my wonderful Betas: Ever (HP-Forever-XX) and Lara (Lara1221)

Readers, please go to the story now and enjoy :)

**Word count **(Without AN and the lyrics, so the story basically):** 3287**

**QLFC Round 5 Harpies Beater 2: **[Benjy Fenwick, Christmas at Hogwarts, bag, tiptoe]

**Also written for: Album challenge **[Speak now, Back to December]; **Birthday comp **[December: Christmas]; **Spells comp **[Obliviate: fluffy oneshot]; **Quotes for all occasions comp **[Love: A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and a man cannot live without love - Max Muller]; **Test Your Limits comp round 1 **[Lethe: Memories, thestral, cauldron, "Well that's a nice rude thing to say to a teacher]; **CanonxOC comp.**

* * *

**4\. Back To December: Benjy Fenwick/ Cassidy Reid (OC)**

* * *

_Realized I loved you in the fall._

_And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind_

_You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"._

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."_

_And I go back to December all the time._

* * *

"You have ten minutes remaining to complete your potions, everyone. Use your time well," Horace Slughorn addressed the fifth years. "I cannot stress the point enough that adding the armadillo bile requires the utmost precision and accuracy."

"Ugh," Benjy Fenwick scraped his teeth against his lower lip and wiped the sweat from his brow with his sleeve. "Why does he have to give us such a technical potion on the last day of term?"

His best friend and housemate, Edgar Bones, chuckled from the other side of the table.

"It could be worse. Considering this is our OWL year, we've got it easy. Fourth years do the Wit-Sharpening Potion."

"You're joking, right?" a flustered Benjy asked.

Edgar shrugged and effortlessly squeezed three drops of bile from a pipet into his potion. He did a double take when he caught Benjy looking at him with a pathetic look of a scolded puppy in his peripheral vision.

"Oh no, I'm not doing yours for you."

"Come on Ed," Benjy implored him. "Please?"

Edgar shook his head. "No way. Even if I do it right it's very likely your cauldron will melt or something."

"I actually think I've done okay on this one," Benjy said, steeling himself as he filled his pipet and held it over his cauldron.

"That's what you said last time. I swear you just have this internal need to destroy cauldrons. I remember third year when no-one would sit near you-."

"You _still_ won't sit with me," Benjy interrupted, gesturing to the empty space beside him. He looked at Edgar pointedly from beneath his sandy fringe, which was hanging down away from his face as he leant over the cauldron.

"Hey, at least I've been brave enough to move back onto the same table as you." Edgar grinned. "Merry Christmas! Anyway, I remember that year. You had a good streak going on. Six melted cauldrons in consecutive lessons, was it?"

"Don't exaggerate!" Benjy said indignantly, clenching his fists in a defensive reflex. Too late, did he realise what he had done. He watched helplessly as a spurt of green liquid shot from the pipet into his cauldron.

He gulped, and Edgar hurriedly filled a vial with his completed potion before backing away from the table and calling Professor Slughorn over.

Upon seeing the green smoke emerging from Benjy's station, the teacher gasped and shuffled clumsily around tables and students in his hurry to reach the bemused Hufflepuff before his cauldron melted.

"_Evanesco,_" Slughorn huffed. His shoulders sagged in relief when he successfully Vanished Benjy's potion in time. "Honestly m'boy, don't do that when I'm on the other side of the room."

"Sorry, sir," Benjy blushed.

"Not to worry, not to worry," Slughorn said merrily. "Probably just the Christmas spirit getting the better of your concentration, eh?"

"Yeah, something like that," Benjy mumbled, awkwardly running a hand through his floppy hair and averting his gaze.

The professor just smiled and strolled away, humming to himself.

"Sir, did you have one too many Butterbeers at Professor Klinson's leaving party yesterday?" A particularly arrogant Gryffindor named Ralph Horrocks, asked.

"Well, that's a nice rude thing to say to a teacher, Ralph!" a familiar voice whispered sternly. Benjy did his best not to look, but his will power couldn't hold out for long. He glanced sideways, where his hazel eyes fell upon Cassidy Reid, another Gryffindor. She was holding Ralph's arm. It wasn't an affectionate touch, but Benjy felt his heart contract painfully nonetheless.

"Relax, Cassie," Ralph said. "I was only asking our lovely Professor if he had a good time yesterday."

A melancholic smile adorned Benjy's face. Only Ralph Horrocks was capable of driving someone as easy-going as Cassidy to rolling her eyes in such an annoyed manner.

_She never rolled her eyes at me, _he thought sadly before snapping himself out of it. It was his fault that she wasn't his anymore. Well, she was never really his at any time, but there was a moment where she could have been, and Benjy, being the awkward and insecure person that he was, blew it.

"It was splendid, thank you Mr Horrocks," Slughorn beamed. "And speaking of parties," he turned to Cassidy. "I expect to see you at my Christmas get-together tomorrow, Miss Reid."

Cassidy blushed. "Oh, well, of course," she smiled, too polite to make up an excuse to get out of it.

"And you're taking me, right babe?" Ralph asked, wrapping his arms around Cassidy in a sickeningly possessive way.

"Er…" she said, trying to extract her small frame from Ralph's grasp.

"Excellent," Slughorn smiled.

The bell sounded, signalling that the Christmas holidays had officially begun, and everyone stampeded to the door without waiting to be dismissed. Quite frankly, Benjy was just happy to get out of the room.

He managed to enjoy the festive décor around the castle – fairies flitting around the twelve trees in the snowing Great Hall and the festoons of holly sitting on the tables - for a whole five minutes before life felt the need to step in and let poorly buried memories rise to the surface of Benjy's thoughts. One moment he was walking up the staircase with Edgar, running his wand against the balustrades and ever-lasting icicles, and the next he was standing under some mistletoe with Cassie after colliding with her when she exited the library.

"Oh Benjy, I'm so sorry," she said as the impact caused Benjy to drop the books he'd been carrying.

"It's fine," he replied, crouching to gather everything up. The action provided him with an excuse not to look at her in the eyes.

"No, it was my fault. Let me help you," she crouched too.

"Nah," Benjy waved a dismissive hand. "You know how clumsy I am," he laughed nervously.

"Yeah, it must've been hard for you to see me, I suppose," Cassidy chuckled. "You know, with me being tiny and you practically three metres tall!"

She handed him the last of the books and stood up, with Benjy following suit after stuffing the textbooks into his bag and gathering the library books in his arms. That's when he noticed the mistletoe above their heads. He gnawed his bottom lip again. Aside from the things he enjoyed about Christmas at Hogwarts - happy atmosphere, warm Butterbeer, snowball fights, presents and carols - it was still a time he'd rather not think about.

Benjy shuffled on the spot uncomfortably.

"Do you want me to take those in for you?" Edgar asked, gesturing to the books in his arms. When Benjy didn't respond his friend took them from him anyway, leaving him with no choice in the matter. "I'll be out in a tick." Edgar entered the library and left Benjy alone with Cassidy.

"You're thinking about Christmas Day last year, aren't you?" she asked quietly. Benjy groaned and forced himself to look at her. It wasn't that he disliked her: his reason was quite the contrary. Whenever he looked at her, the embarrassment and guilt from the previous year filled his heart in an overwhelming abundance.

He just nodded and played with the hair at the back of his head nervously.

This was the longest amount of time he'd allowed himself to be around Cassidy since last Christmas. Looking at her now; her chocolate-brown eyes, her cute bob of brunette curls and her freckled nose, standing under the mistletoe with him gave Benjy such a major case of déja-vu that it was impossible for him _not_ to remember.

"_It's nice of you to offer, but I don't want you to work with me because you feel sorry for me." _

"_No Benjy, I… well, I want to. Let's just hope we don't make it seven melted cauldrons in a row."_

"_Unlikely. I'm awful at Potions."_

"_Don't say that. You should have more confidence in yourself."_

That was something Benjy pinpointed as a 'defining moment' for them. It was that Potions lesson Edgar was referring to earlier: the time where nobody would sit with Benjy because of his reputation for melting so many cauldrons when third year had barely started. But Cassidy had offered to work with him.

They had always been friends; just perhaps not the kind of friends who'd go to Hogsmeade together on weekends or stress for hours about finding perfect Christmas gifts for each other. They were more like acquaintances, really, until that moment.

Benjy would be lying if he said he hadn't always harboured a little crush on Cassie. Hell, he didn't think there was one boy in his year that hadn't at some point. But that was just part of the problem. Over she walked in her bubbly demeanour, a bright smile on her face.

"Hey, Benjy! I see you haven't got a partner, yet. Do you want to work with me?"

And suddenly Benjy's dreams had become reality. Cassie wanted to work with him. His initial reaction had been to agree, but then his stupid brain kicked in.

'_Why would Cassie want to work with me? She's pretty, funny, smart, a talented Quidditch player and popular. And I'm… well, me.' _

He politely declined, but they ended up working together anyway. During that time, Benjy found himself begin to ease up around her. He had still been awkward and shy, but they had a laugh together, and soon he realised that there was something different about Cassie: something special.

He'd always viewed Cassie as this untouchable being, forever out of his reach because of her place in the social hierarchy. But those stereotypes about popular girls being mean girls didn't apply to her at all. She was kind and down to earth, but she also had character flaws; and that just made her all the more human in Benjy's eyes. She didn't care when the potion spilled on her new uniform, but she became very frustrated when she couldn't do something on the first go. She managed to look good without even trying, but she also had a habit of biting her nails.

Everybody had their flaws, and as soon as Benjy realised that about Cassidy, he realised that he didn't care about her flaws, which in turn allowed him to be more accepting of his own. When he worked with her in Potions that day, he was able to laugh at his mistakes for the first time.

On a high from not destroying a cauldron for the seventh time in a row, Benjy bit the bullet and asked Cassidy if she wanted to accompany him and Edgar to Hogsmeade when there was a trip. She agreed, and very soon that one Hogsmeade visit turned into another, and then to Cassie hanging out with Benjy and Edgar on a regular basis on weekends. Benjy also made a point to stand with the Gryffindors and cheer her on during Quidditch matches; except when Hufflepuff were playing of course, but he always found himself not feeling that disappointed if she scored a goal against them.

By the end of the year, he and Cassidy had grown really close, but then came the summer holidays, and with the exception of a birthday card and a few letters, Benjy didn't hear that much from her. He realised that he missed her.

'_Isn't it normal to miss your friends, though?' _he thought. But then he asked himself why he didn't miss Edgar as much when he hadn't seen him since July, either.

He didn't figure it out until December of his fourth year.

* * *

Benjy sat on the snow-covered floor of a seemingly empty clearing in the Forbidden Forest, lost in his thoughts. Aside from the distant singing of Christmas carols, it was silent. But then he heard a twig snap behind him.

"Hey, Cass," he smiled without turning.

He heard a sigh from behind him. "Do you have eyes on the back of your head or something?" she asked. "Edgar said you'd be here."

"Were you looking for me?"

"Kind of," she said, walking over and sitting beside him. "Horrocks broke up with Leela Somers so now he's on the prowl. He was giving me some pretty suggestive looks in Transifiguration."

"And you thought hiding from him was the best solution?" Benjy wasn't consciously aware of the way his stomach knotted at the idea of Ralph and Cassie together.

Cassidy shrugged. "We've got a Quidditch game coming up so I figured I'd better wait until afterwards to stamp on his ego."

"That's pretty Slytherin of you." Benjy's comment earned him a playful shove on the arm.

"You say that again and our friendship is over," she warned, though he could tell she didn't mean it. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"The Thestrals are here," he replied numbly.

"Oh!" she blinked in surprise. "Benjy, you can't-?" she gulped, "You can't see them, can you?"

Benjy took a deep breath. Only Edgar knew why he liked to come here. But he trusted Cassidy a lot, so he decided to tell her.

"I can't see them. It's weird because I can… sense them, I suppose," he chewed his lip. "Forget it, you wouldn't understand."

"No," Cassidy touched his bare hand with her gloved one. "Tell me," she said softly.

"Well, my Dad was a soldier in the Muggle army. When I was five he… well, he didn't come home." Cassidy stroking his hand comforted him immensely, so he continued on. "He used to collect these snow globes; he had a whole shelf of them at home. They're still there now, gathering dust. I never talk to my Mum about him because she's struggling even more than me; not that she even notices me, anymore, and when she does it's to pick up on my flaws that Dad didn't have."

"Oh Benjy, I'm so sorry." It was then that Cassidy started to understand why Benjy was sometimes reserved and insecure about himself: even his own Mum couldn't appreciate him.

"It's fine," he said. "I've made my peace with it, but it's hard sometimes. That's why I come here. I feel like the Thestrals understand. Is that mental?"

"No," she smiled. "I don't have a Dad either. But he died before I was born. I guess that's why I can't sense them like you can."

Benjy gave Cassidy's hand a squeeze and stood. "Try stroking the Thestrals," he suggested. "Maybe you'd feel something, then."

"Err, okay," she said. Benjy helped her up and guided her over to where he knew one of the skeletal beasts stood. She reached out gingerly to pet something she could not see. "Oh," she jumped away. "I think that's its leg. Godric, I'm so short!"

Benjy chuckled. "Try standing on your tiptoes."

She gasped as stretched her arm up as far as it could reach. "That's so weird." She smiled at Benjy, and gazed vacantly at the ground for a while, where a wilted and frosted flower lay. "'A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and a man cannot live without love': my Dad used to say that all the time. Or, so my Mum tells me."

'_Love…_' Benjy thought. That was the light-bulb moment when he realised he loved Cassie as more than a friend. He didn't know how long he'd felt that way, but he had an inkling it'd been a while.

XXX

"Ouch!" Benjy clutched his chest when he collided with Cassidy on Christmas Morning.

"Oh, Benjy. Sorry," she laughed, rubbing her forehead. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," he replied.

"Why are you all wet?"

"Edgar's gift to me was a snowball… or twenty."

The two of them looked around in confusion when several people wolf-whistled at them as they walked by.

Then Benjy looked up and saw the sprig of mistletoe over their heads. Cassidy glanced upwards too. There was a long silence when their eyes dropped at the same time and landed on the other. Cassidy suddenly started playing with her hair in an uncharacteristic act of uncertainty.

"What, Cass?"

"Er… okay, this is going to sound mental. Please don't freak out or anything, but I just need to say that…"

"What?" Benjy smiled.

"You're a great friend of mine, Benjy. Probably one of the best friends I have, really," she babbled. "I don't know when or how, but I like you. I mean, really like you," she cringed as she spoke, but the words were like music to Benjy's ears. "Sometimes I think that I might even love you, but we're friends and I don't want to ruin that-."

Once again, Benjy's inferiority complex got the better of him. Hearing Cassie say those things seemed too good to be true.

'_Is this a joke? Cassie can't love me. I'm so awkward and weird and she's...her.'_

He became so frustrated at himself - and his Mum for making him so insecure - that he took it out on her, and shot her down rather brutally. She flinched away as her eyes filled with tears. She turned from him and ran. The gift-bag she'd been holding fell to the floor, and a resounding 'smash' echoed around.

Benjy stooped down and picked it up.

'_Happy Christmas Benjy, love Cassie xx'_ read the tag.

The bag contained shattered glass of what he presumed was once a snow globe. A poppy was magically stuck to the gold base.

It was a homage to his dad. Something so personal and meaningful couldn't be a joke, Benjy realised.

"Cass!" He called after her. "Wait. Please. I love you, too!"

But she didn't turn back.

* * *

Benjy physically shuddered at the memory. Cassie had truly loved him, and he allowed his stupid insecurities to drive a wedge between them. He started avoiding her out of embarrassment after that, afraid to face his past. In the blink of an eye, they went back to being acquaintances. And now here they were almost a year later, wondering what could have been.

Benjy felt sick. He'd been such an arse to her that he couldn't fathom why she was still standing with him.

"Look Cassie," he gulped. "If I could go back to that time and change what happened, I'd do it." He felt a weight life from his shoulders after almost a year of wanting to tell her that.

Cassidy half-smiled. "Where was this speech eleven months ago?" It seemed that she was speaking more to herself than to Benjy, but he responded anyway.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a speech-." he started to babble.

"Benjy. Just so you know, it hurt more that you felt like we couldn't be friends anymore than the rejection itself. It embarrassed me to start with, sure, but I never wanted to lose your friendship. Then you kept avoiding me when I tried to say something to you-."

"Sorry, I -."

"But I understand why," she said softly. "It's because of your mum, isn't it?"

He nodded and sighed.

"And," Cassidy took a step forwards. "Well, I heard you."

"Heard what?" Benjy's heart thumped madly in his chest.

"You said you love me, too," she whispered.

"Yeah, well I-."

"Shh. Let's not have a conversation like this in public again, shall we?" Cassidy said. "We can talk at Slughorn's party."

Benjy frowned. "I thought you were taking Horrocks."

Cassidy rolled her eyes. "You were there: he invited _himself_."

"Aren't you two a couple?"

"Godric, no. Francine set us up on one date and now he thinks we're an item." She snorted. "I only went to make him leave me alone."

"But-."

"No buts - you're coming with me," Cassidy smiled. "Call it an early Christmas gift."

Just as Benjy turned when he heard footsteps coming from the library, she tiptoed up and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she whispered, leaving Benjy stunned when she walked away.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought :)


	5. Mean

**A/N: **If any of you've read 'Bonding' in my Dramione Drabble collection you'll get the 'Draco hugs birds' reference. I'm just expanding on it now :P Warning: this is the crackiest thing I've ever written. It is not a fic to be taken seriously - at all! :)

Btw if you imagine Draco singing the lyrics to Buckbeak it's pretty funny xD

Written for: Album challenge (Mean - Taylor Swift); I've Never comp (crack); Pairing Diversity Bootcamp (nuzzle)

* * *

**5\. Mean: Draco/Buckbeak**

* * *

_You have knocked me off my feet again. Got me feelin' like I'm nothing._

_You take me down with one single blow. Why you gotta be so mean?_

* * *

Draco's heart skipped a beat when his eyes fell upon the magnificent beast in front of him. It was a freak of a creature - that was for sure: half horse, half bird. But Draco didn't take any notice; he was utterly captivated by the sleek, mottled white and grey plumage. He rubbed the pad of his thumb against his index finger under the concealment of his school robes, just imagining the feeling of one of those soft feathers between them. The Hippogriff could never be ugly to Draco; not when it reminded him so much of the manor peacocks.

The fact that he had… 'bird issues' wasn't something his parents were oblivious to. In fact, it always became the talking point of every dinner party hosted by his parents.

"Did you know that Draco used to get so lonely without any siblings that he used to try and play with the peacocks?" His mother would giggle when she'd consumed more wine than was advisable.

"He even tried to hug them once, but they just ran away from him. Ever since then he's been trying to outsmart them to get a hug," his father would join in.

At that point Draco would excuse himself. He hated that his parents found such humour in something that pained him so much; they didn't understand the rejection he'd felt from those peacocks that sunny day when he was seven. He'd go up to the window of his lonely bedroom and look down into the gardens, where the bedazzling white specks glinted in the sun. Draco would press his palm against the glass barrier that separated him from the peacocks, yearning for them silently; hoping that one day, they'd accept his gestures of friendship.

Over time the ambitious need to get the acceptance - the _love_ \- he thought he deserved turned into obsession and desire. Draco almost convinced himself that the peacocks were playing hard to get: teasing him and keeping him keen by running away.

But they were nothing compared to the Hippogriff, which was a hundred times more magnificent than any peacock. Just then, the creature lifted its head and its orange eyes found Draco's. His breath hitched. It was like the Hippogriff - Buckbeak - was inviting Draco to approach him… to stroke him… to nuzzle his cheek against those pearly feathers…

Just then Buckbeak's attention was snatched from Draco by Harry-bloody-Potter (another being who once rebuffed his gestures of friendship). The blond watched in dismay, feeling as rejected as ever, as Potter petted the beast. Draco's fists clenched and he almost began shaking in anger as the oaf encouraged Potter to ride on Buckbeak's back.

'_That should be me,' _Draco thought bitterly as Potter's cheers echoed around the clearing. He just couldn't understand why everything and everyone – including birds – preferred Potter to him.

That's why Draco approached Buckbeak with such bravado; the Hufflepuff hugging crap obviously made the peacocks think of him as a weakling, so Draco was convinced that establishing himself as Buckbeak's superior may just work.

He was wrong.

He'd been so close, too: arm's length, in fact, from the Hippogriff when it stood on its hind legs and lashed out at Draco with its talons.

Draco was immediately knocked off his feet, and landed on his back with a thud. His eyes filled with tears as he clutched his injured arm, staring into those orange orbs with hurt, betrayal and question marks in his own eyes.

Draco was completely fed up of all of these near-misses to get a hug that the peacocks refused him. He hated not getting what he wanted.

The birds (and now a Hippogriff) made him work so much for it. It was just mean... but he kind of liked it.

* * *

**A/N: **Is it bad that I quite enjoyed writing that? Probably :P

Thanks for reading!


End file.
